eventually isn't soon enough

there's even a price on patience:
UPS 3-5 Day $15.70
UPS 2-Day Air $27.75
UPS Next Day Air $48.75
US Mail-Priority Mail $28.45
US Mail-Express Mail $61.25
FedEx Saver $22.20
FedEx Economy $37.50
FedEx Priority $59.25
US Mail-First-Class Mail $28.45