these wedges aren't made for walking

at a "surprise" birthday party, i found some blog-worthy material among one of the drunken partygoers.
on the verge of tears, she holds up her brand-new white ralph lauren wedges and whines,
"my sshoes got dirrtyy!!" (points to the black dirt found on the top of the shoe)
"oh no! how did they dirty?" a sober one asks.
"from waallkingg!!"